


My Little Dove

by DarkestHeir



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Character Death, Depression, Feelings Realization, Genderfluid Character, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Moving On, Multi, OCD, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prostitution, Self Harm, Smoking, Substance Abuse, realization of being different tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 03:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15963848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkestHeir/pseuds/DarkestHeir
Summary: Lance is a 24 year old college student. Barley coping with life, going through day by day trying to exist despite how simple everything seems. Lance meets someone new one day, someone that forces him to look at life with something more than mild contempt. The shift of view point of life on earth and his own existence causes rapid changes in the people around him, and the relationships that all bind them together.





	My Little Dove

**Author's Note:**

> Oof this story is so old and its changed so much from my original ideas. I dont know how far this will go if at all  
> this story started in elementary school and so ive re-written the one page that was left to be more up to date with my current writing style

The air was crisp and cool, seemingly silencing all the noise outside as people huddle inside for warmth. There was the cawing of crows, a murder forming outside. Lance rolled over as the crows became more insistent, tugging the blanket over his head.

The cawing continued, loud and echoing around the dorms. They seemed to talk to one another as they screeched.

Lance rolled over once more, tugging the pillow over his head to block out the noise, his attempt in vain as he was already awake. He gave a deep sigh, rubbing his scruff against his mattress willing himself to get up. 

The crows gave another caw, and Lance sat up with a groan. He didn’t like them, the group of crows that loved to seemingly appear right outside his room. He didn’t like them, and they didn’t like him apparently. 

Lance looked around, rubbing one of his eyes with a limp hand. He didn’t get enough sleep and these crows didn’t help. There was a small tub of jelly cups by his bed, now empty and filled with tiny rocks. He didn’t want to hurt the things, but he was hoping that they got the message and would leave for the rest of the day as they always did. It was their annoying cycle.  
He pulled the blanket around his shoulder to protect himself from the cold.

Lance opened the window that he slept next to and yelled, “Hey!”

The crows stopped and stared at him, the smart group well aware of what they were doing. Lance lifted his arm to toss the rock, and they dispersed without further encouragement and reformed in the trees by the street. Lance huffed, why couldn't they just hang out there?

Lance closed the window but continued to stare outside. He momentarily stared at the crows before looking up at the gray and sluggish sky. “It might rain soon”, Lance murmured to himself and to the air. The air itself smelled like rain.

He sat there, watching the sky, his eyes looking for any break in between the slate of gray. He loved this weather, but sometimes it felt much too lonely for his liking. That was one of those days, cold and lonely and yet filled with something. He wasn't quite sure, maybe he was just going crazy.

Lance closed his eyes and took in a breath, today was going to be odd, he could feel it underneath his skin. 

Lance sat there, thinking of nothing for a bit, not of the sky, not of himself, not of anything. Lance shook his head, deciding that he should get ready for the day instead. He pushed the blanket off of him, sucking in a breath between his teeth as the cold attacked the warm and bare skin of his chest.

Fuck it was cold.

He slid to the edge of his bed, which was less of a bed and more of a mattress with a nest of blankets and pillows on the floor. He dragged his feet through the carpet as he stretched, a deep red color, almost like his hair. That is, if someone dumped a vat of blood on him maybe. His hair was like a lighter red, almost like an orange mix. 

What an ugly carpet color.

Lance stood, stumbling a bit before steadying himself as he walked to the bathroom. He turned on the lights with one quick movement of his finger. The lights flickered to life with a hum, they took a few second to warm up to fully illuminate the small bathroom. They sounded much older than they were, humming and buzzing like fluorescent lights in a dark old hallway.

He turned on the cold water on the sink, cupping his hands and splashing some water in his face to fully wake himself up. 

Lance looked at himself in the mirror, watching the water drip off of his face before examining himself even closer. He tried to count the freckles splashed across his face before he got distracted by the scruff on his face. He rubbed a hand against his beard, before letting his fingers scale up into his hair. He loved the color of his hair, of his skin, he wondered if he could truly love himself enough and not just pieces of him.  
Maybe he was vain, or hoping for too much

Lance glanced at the door where his towel hung, watching it and letting a puff of air out of his nose in a huff. He felt like a shower.

Lance stripped quickly and in one motion, after all, he had just been wearing his boxers.  
He turned on the shower and let it warm up with a towel wrapped gingerly around his shoulder. The steam slowly filled the bathroom, curling and escaping through the open door. He stepped inside, the water hot, almost hot enough to become unbearable. For awhile he just stood under the bast of water, feeling his skin slowly start to complain from the heat. His shower was quick after he stopped standing there. At least the water pressure was good in his place, he was thankful for that.

Lance stepped out, steam flowing off his skin and into the equally steamy air of the room. Lance would have set his towel down on the floor so he could just lay there and dry but the cold was much more urgent and rushing him along. He walked out quickly, going to his closet to retrieve some clothes.

Lance put on a pair of pajama pants, pink with dots, and a shirt from a podcast he used to listen to long ago. It was a comfortable outfit, a very nice start to the day. Lance walked into the kitchen, which was meshed with the living room, only separated by a small island counter.   
Lance walked around it, sitting on the stool on what would be considered the kitchen side. On the counter was sitting his phone next to a small black speaker with a rubber hook. Lance turned the speaker on, grabbing his phone and connecting them with bluetooth. He always left his phone in the kitchen now, It annoyed him having it by his bed. Maybe he was just too disconnected from others, he didn’t see the point of having a phone, he hated social media despite having all of it. He felt old, or too naive, was there really a difference in the end?

Lance momentarily scrolled through his phone mindlessly, a blue light staring back at him from his speaker, now ready to use. Lance paused, before going into his music and selecting a playlist called ‘chill’. Music immediately began to play, loud enough to resonate through the dorm he had but not loud enough to be annoying he hoped.   
The song that started was Unsaved Info, the artist unknown. Lance hummed along, sitting there as the very short song finished and moved on to something longer and more upbeat, but still perfect for such a cloudy day in his opinion. The song was short and sweet, a great song despite its short life.  
The next song was called Having Fun, another unknown artist on his phone. Maybe he should buy songs instead of illegally downloading them?   
Lance snorted, yeah right, that was never happening.

“What to do, what to do, what to do,   
trying hard to seem mysterious while wrestling you for fun”  
Lance hummed along as he slid off the stool. He felt like a coffee.

Lance moved, sliding around a bit with the calming song as he went to make coffee. He filled up a cup with water and then poured it into the reservoir of his coffee maker. This thing was rather old and bulky but it worked so he didn’t mind much, it worked and that’s all that mattered. He set up the coffee filter and grabbed the tin of coffee.  
Opening it revealed nothing, he was out of coffee.   
There was a pause from his own singing as he stared at the empty container.   
Great, Great!  
This was, “...perfect”   
Lance let out a loud groan, maybe exaggerated just a bit for dramatic purposes. Not like anyone was around to hear it but him, but it didn’t matter, he was around himself constantly and he wanted to exaggerate. Lance slumped over onto the countertop, coffee tin still in hand. Looks like he’s going to need to go out and get coffee, maybe buy a bag from a coffee shop. As much as he didn’t like coffee shops either, maybe he just didn’t like people enough? Lance thought that maybe he was being too pessimistic. 

Lance sighed, he didn’t want to go out, it was winter break and he just wanted to sit inside and enjoy the cold weather with coffee, bread, and a movie. He moved back to the bathroom, grabbing his hand towel and rubbing it vigorously through his hair to dry it, he didn’t want a cold, not now. He combed back his hair with a few swipes of a comb, enjoying the feeling of the hard plastic scraping against his scalp before leaving to dress into something more decent for the outside world.  
‘Dignity, I have some of that’ Lance thought with a laugh.

Lance pulled out some black jeans and a fake leather jacket. He love this jacket, he got it for 20 dollars at a thrift store, for some reason it always made him much to warm, but now seemed like the perfect time to wear such a thing. Very cozy if he had to say so himself, he also liked the way it made him look. It matched well with his look, dark, kind of intimidating despite only being 5 feet and 4 inches tall, and with a resting face that looked ready to pull out a knife if you said one wrong word.   
Lance Stripped and reclothed himself lazily, there was no need for a rush right now, as much as he craved a coffee he really had nowhere to be. He hardly ever did.

He looked at his phone briefly and his eyes caught the date, December 17th. “It’s my birthday” Lance murmured into the air, preparing for the inevitable phone call from people to flood in to wish him happy birthday. It’s not like they really cared, most of his friends were just the occasional person that wished him well. Lance was more bracing for the idea of his brother and closer friends to call him and try to drag the introvert that he was out somewhere for his 24th birthday.

Lance continued to sing along to the music as he laced up his shoes, fiddling with the cuff of his jeans before deciding that they were presentable.   
“Marry me marry me marry me, close your eyes and bite your lip and in a second it’ll be all done”  
He walked towards his mattress and haphazardly fixed it up to look organized, more for himself and less for anyone else in reality, sometimes he just liked to look like he had his life together and that he was doing just fine.   
As the song changed, it was interrupted by a phone call, the default ringtone playing throughout his apartment. Lance watched his phone, wary of it, he didn’t really want to answer. The phone continued to ring, insisting on being picked up and being heard.

Lance gave in rather quickly, standing to grab it and putting it up to his ear, “Hello?”  
A happy giggle played across the line and Lance huffed, shoulders sagging as the person across the line began to speak, “Lance! So you can be up this early!”  
He groaned inwardly, his girlfriend Jessica, always like an excited puppy. He was once so infatuated with her but now he wasn’t so sure about what he wanted from her. He started to think that maybe it was a mistake being with her, Lance had always had a looming feeling but he never vocalized it. Fearing that if he ever said it out loud he would realize how good it sounded in his mouth, so maybe he should just keep going.  
That wasn’t really fair to her, she had never done anything wrong, she probably deserved better than him if anything. Lance let out of huff of air from his nose, there was no time to think of this right now, maybe later he could continue to think and wallow in misery later.   
“Lance? You there foxy?”  
He cringed as his nickname, it always sounded so weird and he never liked it. Maybe he should tell her that instead of complaining about it to himself.   
“Yeah baby I’m here”  
“Oh! Were you just thinking to hard again?”  
Lance chuckled, “Yeah I guess I am”  
“Well don’t do that! Today is your birthday and you shouldn’t be moping around all day!”  
She was always more excitable than him, it was nice to see someone with so much energy, especially in this day and age. She was like a dog, there wa sno hiding whatever she felt, she was always very excited to see people. She was a very sweet person.  
Lance tuned back into the conversation, “- and so I was thinking about that and decide that maybe we could have fun! I know you don’t like loud clubs and too many people so this sounded pretty great! Just some quite local performers!”

Lance rolled his eyes, god he really didn’t want to go anywhere, but he did owe it to her. She was trying, he couldn't just slap that out of her hands, “Sure Jess, sounds pretty alright. When and where?”   
Jessica rattled off the time and place and Lance excused himself shortly after, already exhausted at the thought. She said that she already invited his friends and brother. Jessica also invited her own brother to come along.  
Brian, Brian was weird, he was an enigma. Brian and Jessica had lived through the brutal death of their father and apparently, according to Jessica, Brian and developed OCD from the incident. He wanted to control whatever he could and freaked out when he couldn't, like an itch.   
Lance shook his head, he hoped the Brian would at least be able to enjoy tonight.

Lance checked the time, It was 9am, he was certain that at least one coffee shop would be open. Maybe the small one by the dorms? That sounded good, he heard that the store was really comfy, with a local feeling. Lance grabbed his scarf by the door, pocketing his phone and wallet and opening it to the outside world. A cold breeze smacked him across the face before he put on his scarf and he took a deep breath before stepping out into the cold morning.


End file.
